You never really know someone until you get drunk and wreck their car.

A few people have begun to suspect Paltrow of insanity and criminal depravity.

I created Cabbage Head using only my mind.  He is my tulpa. 

Cabbage Head in one of his drug-induced rages.

I used to go to a self-help group for people with imaginary friends. It was several months before I realized that I was the only person there.

Even Dr. Paltrow wasn't real.

There are about 4 or 5 photos of Prince Charles, Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Laura Bush in formal attire, all standing in front of the White House after a formal dinner waiting for their limos. They all look totally bizarre as if they were just drinking blood and gorging on flesh.

I am nervous and deeply upset.

Artisan Cheeses Found in the Leadhills Shoppe

• Isle of Mull
• Badentoy Blue
• Swinzie
• Alisa Craig
• Pentland (made in small quantities and not widely available)

They all taste good on crackers or gnawed straight off the counter.