Do not be like Scrooge. Cheer her up. Buy her the bear:
http://i.imgur.com/qBqZh9I.jpg
Tiny Tim Cratchit is a bear from the Franklin Mint, designed by Donna Hodges. He is English mohair, approximately 10 1/2 inches tall, with hand-sewn glass eyes and is fully jointed and posable. His face is hand-stitched, his paw pads are sueded, and he has a minted coin on the bottom of his right foot/paw. He comes with a hat, crutch, scarf, stand, Certificate of Authenticity, and original box.
Is this how the War on Christmas plays out ? I'm amassing minions as we speak for the upcoming War on Freakmas ... any new recruits ?
Our intel has it that many "Freakmas" types inhabit a stronghold called the Cats Section... (Old R&S Post)
The following is a snippet of how we gained that Intel ...
--------
Ike: Oh, yeah? What do you think,Sandy ...?
Sandy :I don't think. My orders say I'm not supposed to know where I'm taking this boat, so I don't. But one look at you and I know it's gonna be hot, wherever it is.
[ Ike comes into the cabin, looks at Sandy.]
Ike: We're going up river, about seventy-five clicks above the Camp Insanity bridge.
[Sandy reacts, figuring it out almost immediately.]
Sandy: That's Cats, Captain.
Ike: That's classified. We're not supposed to be in the Cats Section, but that's where I'm going. You just get me close to my destination, and I'll cut you loose.
Sandy: All right, Captain.
[Days later ...]
Ike: It was the Athe-Cav, Twenty-Fifth of the Twelfth , our escorts to the mouth of the Sacred River. But they were supposed to be waiting for us a few days ahead ahead. Well, The Anti-Angel Mobile Unit, those boys just couldn't stay put. Twenty-Fifth of the Twelfth was an old cavalry division that had cashed in its horses for choppers, and gone tear-assing around 'Xmas, looking for the sh!t. They've given Christians a few surprises in their time here. What they were mopping up now hadn't even happened an hour ago.
[A Fox TV crew is filming the attack :]
[Propaganda Director]
"Don't look at the cameras, don't look at the cameras... Go on through... Don't look at the cameras.. Go by just like you're fighting Christmas ..."
Ike: "Where can I find some Fur ?"
Bystander: "Over There"
Ike: "Captain Ike reporting Sir. I carry priority papers from Athe-Sec Intelligence. I understand that The Cult of Atheism has briefed you of requirements of my mission."
Lt-Col Fur: "What mission ? I haven't heard from The Cult of Atheism."
Ike: "Sir, your unit is supposed to escort us into the pseudo holiday season."
Lt-Col Fur: "Well, we'll see what we can do about that. But stay out of my way." [Lt-Col Fur walks to a group of howling children]
Lt-Col Fur: "What we have here... Festive Greetings, Happy Holidays, Reason Greetings, Merry Myth-mas, Happy Holly Days. Isn't one worth a 'Darwin:The evolution of Xmas', in the whole bunch..."
Sandy: "Hey Captain Ike , what's that ?"
Ike: "Secular cards."
Sandy: "What ?"
Ike: "Secular cards. Lets Christians know who did this."
[A depressed looking child sits in the ground]
Lt-Col Fur: "Study hard son."
Christian civilians and trendy types are being evacuated :
[MEGAPHONE] :"We are here to extend a welcome hand for those of you who wish to return to arms of reason ...This holiday is controlled by ..." ----------------------
Are you interested please apply below ... outline any attributes you possess that might assist us in formulating an attack plan ...?
Do not be like Scrooge. Cheer her up. Buy her the bear:
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/qBqZh9I.jpg
Tiny Tim Cratchit is a bear from the Franklin Mint, designed by Donna Hodges. He is English mohair, approximately 10 1/2 inches tall, with hand-sewn glass eyes and is fully jointed and posable. His face is hand-stitched, his paw pads are sueded, and he has a minted coin on the bottom of his right foot/paw. He comes with a hat, crutch, scarf, stand, Certificate of Authenticity, and original box.
Is this how the War on Christmas plays out ?
ReplyDeleteI'm amassing minions as we speak for the upcoming War on Freakmas ... any new recruits ?
Our intel has it that many "Freakmas" types inhabit a stronghold called the Cats Section... (Old R&S Post)
The following is a snippet of how we gained that Intel ...
--------
Ike: Oh, yeah? What do you think,Sandy ...?
Sandy :I don't think. My orders say I'm not supposed to know where I'm taking this boat, so I don't. But one look at you and I know it's gonna be hot, wherever it is.
[ Ike comes into the cabin, looks at Sandy.]
Ike: We're going up river, about seventy-five clicks above the Camp Insanity bridge.
[Sandy reacts, figuring it out almost immediately.]
Sandy: That's Cats, Captain.
Ike: That's classified. We're not supposed to be in the Cats Section, but that's where I'm going. You just get me close to my destination, and I'll cut you loose.
Sandy: All right, Captain.
[Days later ...]
Ike:
It was the Athe-Cav, Twenty-Fifth of the Twelfth , our escorts to the mouth of the Sacred River. But they were supposed to be waiting for us a few days ahead ahead. Well, The Anti-Angel Mobile Unit, those boys just couldn't stay put. Twenty-Fifth of the Twelfth was an old cavalry division that had cashed in its horses for choppers, and gone tear-assing around 'Xmas, looking for the sh!t. They've given Christians a few surprises in their time here. What they were mopping up now hadn't even happened an hour ago.
[A Fox TV crew is filming the attack :]
[Propaganda Director]
"Don't look at the cameras, don't look at the cameras...
Go on through... Don't look at the cameras.. Go by just like you're fighting Christmas ..."
Ike: "Where can I find some Fur ?"
Bystander: "Over There"
Ike: "Captain Ike reporting Sir. I carry priority papers from Athe-Sec Intelligence. I understand that The Cult of Atheism has briefed you of requirements of my mission."
Lt-Col Fur: "What mission ? I haven't heard from The Cult of Atheism."
Ike: "Sir, your unit is supposed to escort us into the pseudo holiday season."
Lt-Col Fur: "Well, we'll see what we can do about that. But
stay out of my way."
[Lt-Col Fur walks to a group of howling children]
Lt-Col Fur: "What we have here... Festive Greetings, Happy Holidays, Reason Greetings, Merry Myth-mas, Happy Holly Days. Isn't one worth a 'Darwin:The evolution of Xmas', in the whole bunch..."
Sandy: "Hey Captain Ike , what's that ?"
Ike: "Secular cards."
Sandy: "What ?"
Ike: "Secular cards. Lets Christians know who did this."
[A depressed looking child sits in the ground]
Lt-Col Fur: "Study hard son."
Christian civilians and trendy types are being evacuated :
[MEGAPHONE] :"We are here to extend a welcome hand for those of you who wish to return to arms of reason ...This holiday is controlled by ..."
----------------------
Are you interested please apply below ... outline any attributes you possess that might assist us in formulating an attack plan ...?
**shamelessly reworked "Apocalypse Now" scene