Cabbage Head has tried to kill me on four separate occasions.
Poem for Cabbage Head
And now, at last,
hemorroids.
Finally
a real, literal
pain in the arse.
For so long
I had to make do
with you.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Things That Must Not Be Mentioned in Front of Stanthony
Secretarial school
Brigham City, Utah
Shoes
Jellyfish
The third floor attic
Bad things
Officer Ditchburn Badge 1742
Clowns
The moon landing
Loose leaf paper
Shadow Services
Dark foreboding forests
Toastmasters
Acting as a craft (It's an ART)
Golf lessons
G. Paltrow
Birds
His student loans
Brigham City, Utah
Shoes
Jellyfish
The third floor attic
Bad things
Officer Ditchburn Badge 1742
Clowns
The moon landing
Loose leaf paper
Shadow Services
Dark foreboding forests
Toastmasters
Acting as a craft (It's an ART)
Golf lessons
G. Paltrow
Birds
His student loans
Saturday, October 24, 2015
British Summer Time ends tonight. This puts Great Britain a week ahead of the Americans. Tomorrow it will be 1 November here in Leadhills.
Still in the Shoppe. The only calendars they have end on 31 December 2015. No 2016 calendars. This can only mean one of two things:
1. Leadshill folk are Stupidheads.
2. Unlike the Mayans, they actually DO know when the world will end.
Still in the Shoppe. The only calendars they have end on 31 December 2015. No 2016 calendars. This can only mean one of two things:
1. Leadshill folk are Stupidheads.
2. Unlike the Mayans, they actually DO know when the world will end.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Stanthony's created another list. I don't understand what he expects from me. Is this for one of his scavenger hunts or things he's put on my credit card?
His behavior is becoming increasingly senseless.
- Hawaii Five-0
- Go Big Red
- Thunder
- Springhill Jack
- Eviction notice
- Landmark Worldwide (any Scientologist in a pinch)
(John Travolta?) - Blood vendetta
- Tweezers
- Mojo
- Al
- Dobro
- Rumer Godden
- Father Earl
- 2% Potassium
- One or more fierce bad rabbits
- Damn ugly puppets
- Ice cream
- Picket line
- Talent scout
- Corn man is a-comin'
His behavior is becoming increasingly senseless.
I made a nice friend today.
I was lonely so I went outside to play sidewalk chalks. I wore my clean t-shirt and my bolo tie and my cowboy boots so I would look approachable but I didn't wear my trousers because they don't readily lend themselves to the artistic experience.
I arranged all the different colored chalks neatly on the lawn so other people could play with them. I used the pink chalk and wrote a message in clear capital letters.
After a while a policeman came. He showed me his badge and let me touch it. He asked me all sorts of questions about myself. That's how you get to know someone. It was very good manners.
His name is Officer Ditchburn. His badge number is 1742.
I asked him if I could see him again and he reassured me that he will be keeping an eye on me and we might see lots of each other. This was a good day. I'm glad I made the effort to reach out to others.
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